Nothing to See Here!!

My logic centre is inherently flawed; and this has become particularly evident during my recent challenges with chronic illnesses and...ongoing challenges with those illnesses.  I have high anxiety about everything all the time.

Here are the pervasive themes:
1. Pain management and lack thereof
2. Finances and soon to be lack thereof
3. sleep or lack thereof
4. How to keep people around me happy...and convince them I am "fine".
5. Moving and maintaining relationships

All of those tend to meld together into a lot of "What Ifs"; which I know are beyond my control, and that is when my logic centre spins off the charts....and the anxiety wheel is perpetual and spinning non stop; and it brings on the following symptoms:

a) Decrease in sleep
b) Increase in pain
c) Increase in inflammation
d) Increase in depression
e) and just generally leaves me feeling like crap.

I need to work on managing all of the above because the anxiety stuff just wreaks havoc on me and leads to a sheer lack of motivation and forward movement.  So, my therapist and I fully understand that I need to work on living in the HERE and NOW; to not call it "mindfulness in meditation" because that just irks me...but....allow myself to live in the PRESENT because it is the only thing I can do and is within my grasp and...can be controlled.

I am going to try and do that.  We shall see how that goes.....but....chaos is familiar.....as much as that makes absolutely no sense to me.



I will have to remember this prayer to focus my new "normal".  Here is hoping I allow that to become my new familiar friend in this journey called life...... we shall see.



And going to work on this ...I like this quote!! maybe others will too!!!