I wish I could say the picture above was me, but it isn't...but is SO could have been just a few years ago...err ok 20 years ago; why...because that is when I was at my peak in terms of being physicallty fit. I went from being a high school student who did nothing but study and play music and rehearse and perform theatre, to a full out Varsity Fencer for the Queen's University Varsity Fencing team in just a few years. YUP; this artsy fartsy type loved Fencing. And who wouldn't? you got to wield a weapon, wear cool outfits while doing so, AND hit people for SPORT!! I loved it...and I was really GOOD. This was a time in the early 1990s when women weren't "allowed to fence with a Sabre" but....my fencing master ..Hank Perdoel, saw something in me, and was scouting people from the Fencing Club to join the team...and so I did; and withing a few months I was even competing!!
I placed 5th in Canada in the 1992 Nationals in Montreal...I was on FIRE and had the time of my life....I was loving it. And that lead to exploring Archery and Swordplay with the Local LARP community and Renessaince Faire types...(yep, I am THAT girl lol) . I loved every minute of feeling so active, alive, and in charge of my health.....even with back ache, it rocked!!!
But then, life got complicated.....a job happened, in teaching....which I have loved, I moved a lot...I lost both of my parents early in my life, and early in theirs (mom died of a heart attack at 53, likely related to her undiagnosed A.S.; and dad just three years ago from Cancer); and all of that stress made having chronic illness that much more difficult to manage.....and here I am today, off work...trying to find a happy and healthy balance.
Today we are to try and talk about Chronic Illness and Exercise....years ago I could have explained my weight training regime, my running regime, my Fencing drills and have it all laid out.....today is a very very different story. Today, walking ....is my only real form of exercise, and it usually involves planning ahead, making sure my walker is with me, on flat surfaces...on my "ok days" and "in between flares". I struggle I really do....I have a Fitbit that tracks my steps...I aim to hit 3000 a day; not the national standard of 10,000 because that is impossible. Most days I hit that...and I celebrate; but some days it is impossible.
Some days I can be particularly active and do aqua fit with the lovely seniors or retirees in my area. I stick out like a sore thumb...being so "young and vibrant...why aren't you at work?"; it is tough.....but the weightlessness is a delight...and for those 45mins twice a week...I feel invincible! And...feel like I could take on the world but then I have to get out of the pool and the harshness of gravity reminds me that I will always ...always....be in pain.
This is my new norm...and it is tough to come to terms with. But I celebrate the fact that I can at least get out of bed.......and that, is enough.
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